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Thursday, January 31, 2013

Top Sales In Texass

After two straight months of soaring, assault rifle sales, Texasses are setting their sights on a new product:

It's been said that more AR-15's were sold in Texass last month than Rib-Eye steaks.

Deer Antler Spray.

Better hurry before Obama bans it!!!

Chinese sweatshops are stepping up production as fast as their little hands can make.

Her little ol' arm gets so tard, Daddy.

Texasses sure keep them Orientals busy...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Faces Of Texass

Lance Armstrong:

Because he's been revered as a God, he will pay the ultimate price for his crimes and deception. Texas businessmen and women who commit the same crimes will go unnoticed...

He embodies everything the Texass persona has become. The ideology of "ME" is paramount. Success is all about making as many dollars stack up as possible. No matter what the cost to society, business partners, and even loved ones. Lies become truths, truths become lies in this gray and dark sociopathic state.
There's no shame in telling a lie, cheating, or committing a crime for profit.
In Texass-- just like it's native son Armstrong-- it's a way of life.

The 83rd Texas Legislature:

Want to know why they're all smiling? Because the joke's on you, Texass!

AKA The Tea Party, has been sewing a web of deceit to trap Texas voters for decades now.
Under the guise of a fast growing economy and no state tax, the lawmakers in Austin have been sticking it to Texas taxpayers in the form of outlandish property taxes and huge budget cuts to every social program, especially education. Our fruitful state has added jobs, GOVERNMENT JOBS. So let's review: The Teabaggers in Austin are expanding government while telling us they're actually shrinking it. Raising taxes while telling us they're lowering them. Bashing Obama for federal spending, and threatening secession from the union... but Texass is the first in line with it's hand out when there's a disaster. Did I mention Texass is number one in air pollution, facing a water crisis and is destroying it's bedrock with fracking practices in the name of green energy.

Our US Senators and Representatives:

Lies, and the lying liars who tell them.

You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than the people who represent Texass in Washington DC.. They're nothing more than obstructionist budegthawks and spineless blue dems who sell out their own parties and constituents for monetary gain. Worthless to the core, these tyrants work for their masters in the name of corporate welfare and white-collar crime. And they do it all for God.

They are the bottom of the barrel.

Governor Rick Perry:

Dear Heavenly Father, PLEASE remove this asshole from Texass? Amen!

Outside of Texass he is a global joke. A dirty stain on the underwear of the Texass people. A criminal who's crimes against Texass and it's taxpayers are starting to come to light. He and his cronies have been funneling monies to their friends -and each other- through a Cancer Charity called CPRIT. State Auditors have found dozens of infractions from CPRIT, here's a few:  $25 million grant awarded to a company that didn't even exist at the time of the award, $6,8 million advanced to same company even though grant was for reimbursement of actual expenses, COO hired by CPRIT oversight board whose members include the Attorney General and Comptroller.

Lets see if you find this story on your local news?

Looks like Texass will always be a laughing stock, a shitty stain on the fabric of America.

As long as these yahoo's are the power and persona, Texass is gonna stink.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Weekly Wrangle

The Texas Progressive Alliance is ready for the Super Bowl -- and a ruling in the school finance lawsuit -- as it brings you this week's roundup.

Off the Kuff notes the scandalous failure of the state's replacement Women's Health Program.

Rick Perry and Greg Abbott threatened hugged each other at the big Anti-Woman Rally in Austin this past weekend. There is obviously a lot more on each man's agenda than ending womens' reproductive freedom in Texas. PDiddie at Brains and Eggs thinks they're circling each other like a couple of rabid dogs.

Despite the announcement this week of Battleground Texas, WCNews at Eye on Williamson makes clear that hard work is the only thing that will insure future Democratic success in Texas.

Over at TexasKaos lightseeker spells out what is at stake in Dan Patrick's attack on public education, or as he calls it, his free choice voucher initiative. Check it out: Charter Schools - Making Inequality a Permanent Feature of Texas Education.

The Washington Post endorses the completion of Keystone XL and McBlogger, predictably, gets upset.  

CouldBeTrue of South Texas Chisme wants everyone to know Texas Republicans are continuing their war on women and their war on sanity. No surprises here.

Neil at Texas Liberal wrote that scientists have discovered that binary star systems would in fact be suitable for life, but would have an odd climate and a strangely shaped habitable zone. This seems not much unlike everyday life here on Earth and in America.


“President Obama’s inaugural parade (featured) eight floats, including a Hawaii float to honor his birthplace, an Illinois float to honor the first lady’s home state, and a Kenyan float just to mess with Republicans.”

-- Jimmy Fallon

"Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant on Wednesday asked state legislatures to declare President Obama's new gun control proposals 'illegal.' Though I'm not sure if the Mississippi state legislature has that kind of power since it's just thirty hissing possums in a barn." 

-- Seth Meyers

Speaking of torture...

"Yes, lip-gate. Beyonce-gate. The crisis in Lip-ya. Beyonc-gazi ... If Beyonce lip-synced at Obama's inaugural, do you know what that means? If so, please write in because I'd love to know why I'm so angry!"

-- Stephen Colbert

"Rick Perry said Obama's suggestions for gun control disgust him. He said the real answer to this problem isn't laws, it's prayer. I know you're not supposed to say this about elected officials, but I would pay to see Rick Perry defend himself against a school shooter with prayer." 

-- Bill Maher

 "I guess that's just a crazy fantasy, Rick Perry in a school." 

-- Bill Maher