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Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Red State Reversal

NPR had an interesting question on FB today:  

NPR seeks a breadwinner wife with a part-time or stay-at-home husband for a series about women changing roles. How has this affected the dynamics of your relationship? Are societal expectations keeping up with shifting roles? Please send your stories to

I was amazed at the sudden response from so many couples who share this dynamic.
I mean, I know this is nothing new, and there are plenty of couples making this lifestyle work for a long time now, but living in Texas, around so much bravado and hate makes one lose sight of reality.

The fact is, there are a lot of couples who's roles ARE reversed.
More than you think...

Michael Keaton as 'Mr. Mom' was filmed in 1983 if that tells you anything about how behind the times Texas is.

My wife and I live this way.
She's an associate for a global corporation and I'm a retired realtor - now actor - who's become quite the homemaker.
She brings home a STEADY paycheck, while mine can sometimes fluctuate.
We've been married 14 years and have a 3 year old child. 
I help her obtain the 60hrs a week she needs to work by managing our home life. 
As a result, she's a superstar at her office and is also is a terrific Mother to our child. 
I do the rest.

Is it permanent?
Probably not.

Is it effective for both of us?

How has this affected the dynamics of your relationship? 
The dynamics of our relationship are stronger than ever. 
Always compromising, always working together for a common goal, always supporting each others efforts, and nurturing our feelings. 
Our love, honesty and respect for one another is the foundation our family is built on.
When we have a problem, we talk it out. We make concessions. We move on.
Plain and simple.

Are societal expectations keeping up with shifting roles?
In Texas???


In fact, the hardest part of our set-up is dealing with others, (sometimes family and friends) and their narrow-minded views about this and that.
(By 'others' I mean the vast majority of the people of Texas and every other state south of the Mason-Dixon Line.)

Around the rest of America - especially the blue states- yes. Yes, I think societal expectations have already shifted very much and will continue to do so in a progressive, diverse society.

In Texas...NOT SO MUCH and it's due to the neo-conservative, super majority of the state.
Bigotry, hate, fear, smear, sexism, hypocrisy and don't forget dishonesty. 
These are a few of the hurdles that living in a misogynistic, red state like Texas hands us.

Here in Texas, if you're a housewife, you're a hero.
However, if you're a man and you don't work a business-type career job, or make the most money in the house, you're viewed as a weak, sissy, little metro-queer. 
A nogoodnik.
Lazy sponge and pathetic excuse for a man. 
Hang your head in shame, Couch Potato!

So ignorant.
So arrogant.
(As if our wives are strapping on dildos and screwing us in the you know...)



 This was my comment to NPR - of course it was meant to be tongue-n-cheek- it subsequently got removed.

'Non of you broads has ever met a guy like me.'

'I buy every grocery, cook every meal, service both vehicles, oversee maintenance for the house (inside and out).  And still manage to generate a substantial income from residuals for work performed.
I am the ultimate homemaker!'

'Housewives ain't got nothing on me!'

I suggest NPR check the dictionary on the word 'Broads'. 
Used as nothing more than a harmless nudge at those women -whom were not making such lady-like comments on the thread to begin with- and those men who spoke out so fervently against role reversal and for what? Except to just be nasty

I was stunned at the provincialism from many of the comments.
I was stunned at NPR for removing my comment.
If women want to be treated like it's the stone age, I say we oblige...At least on FB.