Closet Republicans and The Ass Messiah

In the dawn hours of an election year, the opposition has made it clear that they are serious when it comes to hypocrisy. They rant and rave about their brand of revisionist history. Myths about Reagan, 'trickle down,' and 'Job Creators' abound. Obama's a Socialist Muslim from outer-space, sent here to eat our young and euthanize our old. Yada Yada Yada...
I'm used to all that. What really amazes me are the people around me who, for whatever reason, appear sane at one moment, then shift and flip-flop in such a manner it's downright scary. They morph into the same talking heads they claim to despise.
I'm talking about 'closet republicans' who don't have the cojones to own their political party, embrace it, and fix it...

Living inside the bubble(Texas) can be tough for a progressive like me. I understand politics as a science and treat it as such. I don't hide behind lies and self righteousness. I'm a proud democrat who knows his party's and state's histories. It's records of successes and failures. I know why I'm a Texas Democrat.
I own it.

Then there are others-whom I mostly know to be Republican-who play the same game of whack-a-mole every election year. Does this sound familiar; "I think both parties suck, I just think the republicans suck less." or, "I can't stand Rick Perry-he's a crazy embarrassment, he'll never win." Then there's my favorite from the Tealiban, "I'm a Libertarian." "Down with government!" "Down with socialist dictators!" "Read the constitution!"

Are you a real American? Yes, you are Mr. Teabagging Libertarian. You big, moderate, stud you... You picture of balance and common sense for all. You pillar of industry, you portrait of self sacrifice and self-made success. You don't need government for the people, you need government off your back!
You've pulled yourselves up by your bootstraps and made this country work all by your own damn-self!
What would we all do without you and your self-proclaimed, magnanimous approach? (If you run into one who served any time in the military, then you're really in for some back patting.)
Yep. Living in the bubble, you hear it all.

Now the GOP has it's 'clown-car' up and running. Guess who the driver is? Oh, it's that guy we all hated and thought was crazy. What day is it? It's that magical time in Texas again, when memories fade, coats turn color, people eat people, and greed cometh from elephant shit.

THE SAME PEOPLE WHO ONCE BLASTED PERRY, WILL GET BEHIND HIM WITH ALL THEIR SUPPORT, AND CROWN HIM THEIR ASS MESSIAH.


So get ready.
Funny thing is, they're the ones who elected him governor too,  then they bitched about him everyday since.
Like the 'dirt farmer' who voted for Perry, then had half of his family's acreage seized for the building of a toll road and was left with almost nothing. Such a weird dichotomy in this state. So many big hypocrites and so many big problems to solve. All the progress mired in hate and ideologue.

So pony up, Texans! Pat yourselves on the back! You're in for a well-deserved, treat. I can hear it now: "I like Perry, he's done a pretty good job, he knows how to stimulate an economy, he can restore honor to the country and create jobs." "He's a triumph for the poor and sick." "Perry is a peoples president." "Rick Perry is a visionary on a mission from God." "Well he's certainly better than that n*****."
*Elephant Pissing*