Funnies

"Mitt Romney won the Texas Republican primary last night, crossing the crucial 1,144 delegate threshold. What a story! He came from never being behind to clinch the Republican nomination. They said it could be done, and against no odds he achieved the possible!"

-- Stephen Colbert

"Mitt Romney has begun vetting his vice presidential candidates. This is a tough thing because they want to appeal to the Republican base. They want a strong conservative there, but someone who will not upstage Mitt Romney. So the search is on for a strong conservative in a coma."

-- Bill Maher

The Democrats are headed to Houston, named for the Texas giant who led his ragged army on a strategic retreat eastward until finally engaging the enemy at San Jacinto and achieving glorious victory. Bereft of a statewide office holder for nearly two decades, the party still is in its Runaway Scrape phase.

The Republicans are convening in Fort Worth, these days a happy blend of traditional cowboy sensibilities and big-city culture that seems mighty comfortable to suit-and-boots-wearing politicians of the GOP persuasion. Fort Worth is thriving, and so is the party.

What Republican 'thriving' really looks like.