Why Dallas Stinks

GQ's Chandler Burr,  globe-trotting scent critic, anoints the 10 best—and single worst—smelling cities in the world.

 10. Dallas
Cities, like people, have their own smell, their own body odors and perfumes that take on personalities. Dallas is one of the strangest scents I have ever encountered. Highways of strip malls and gas stations and exit signs. Insanely wide streets. It's very New World-smelling. It almost has a non-scent scent. Like many cities, you get concrete, car exhaust, and dust. If you really focus, you can pick up on the nearly undetectable Texas live oak. It's best during thunderstorms, though. The crisp smell of lightning and rain and vast flat space pervades and takes on a three-dimensional quality.

 I think it's a pretty fair assessment; if you live here, you know the smells are seasonal.

Right now, you can't smell anything because your nose is plugged with allergies; we've had a mild winter so far. *sneezes*

In the Spring, you'll still be battling those allergies, but this time you'll be dealing with the sauna-like rain Burr speaks about in the article, here. 

Dallas smells like an LA Fitness at noon. It's a warm, steamy and dirty experience.

BTW, don't Google images of "hit the showers," or "dirty locker room." Trust me on this...

The janitor is trying to clean it up with some high powered concoction that smells great, but mixed with the high levels of C02 in our atmosphere, is a enough to choke an elephant.

The Summer in Dallas smells like trash; as the city only sees fit to pick up our garbage once a week.

(How many of those 100 degree days did we have.) Pew Eee!

As the leaves start to turn in the Fall, the whole city smells of marching bands, football teams, cheerleaders and BBQ pits, grilling up meat. 

It's wondrous place for carnivores and fans of the gladiatorial games, that's for sure.

Mix all that. 

Then sprinkle in the last half dozen or so, Mayors, DISD Supers, Chiefs of DPD and a heavy dose of John Wiley Price, and bake at 350 for 1 hour.

Remove from oven and toss in garbage.