Downtown Dallas Is Lovely This Time Of Year

Especially if you manage to escape without your car being jacked, towed, ticketed, or damaged to the tune of thousands of dollars at the hands of a careless valet. (OR WORSE!)

I remember a better time in the Deep Ellum part of Dallas(1986-1999). --The downtown has never been nice.-- A time when society, art and culture collided with good people who were welcomed by the city. The city wanted us to be there. Some of these elements remain today with exception of the latter. Today you are welcome. You are welcome to find a $40 ticket on your vehicle when you come out of the club. You are welcome to legal counsel. You are welcome to false imprisonment. You're welcome to pay out the ass for shitty service and food. You're welcome to be pepper-sprayed in the face with bear mace.

As a good ole boy from Ft. Worth it's a downright struggle for me to make the adjustment to life in Dallas. (I never dreamed it would be this hard). There are certain things one must learn. Very different things from the clean, safe confines of downtown Ft. Worth and Tarrant County as a whole. In Downtown Ft. Worth, you never have a traffic jam, you never have trouble parking, you don't have to pay to park or valet if you don't want to. Entertainment is affordable. There are people in downtown Ft.Worth,  friendly people.

Downtown Dallas is like one long, dark, lonely alley full of trench-coated strangers... The kind in your nightmares. The kind of scary that makes one lock his car doors and hurry along his way with no thought of stopping. Like being chased and having the dogs set upon you on a black rainy night.

I find Dallas forbidding. I always have. There's something about the tunnels under the city that reminds me of the North Vietnamese.(VC)  You can't see who you're really dealing with in Dallas. You can't get a clear picture of who and what is there. It's like a ghost town.

So what's missing?
Where are the sidewalk cafes and bars. Where's the live music scene? Where are the coffee houses? Where are the food trucks? Fuck, where are the fucking people? Besides valets, meter maids and cops in riot gear..WHERE ARE THE FUCKING PEOPLE?!


The money elite have given generously to make it their playground, but it's not so inviting for the common man. 
Texas has plenty of land. Why don't the wealthy build some free parking lots in downtown Dallas? Not so inviting for me when I literally have to work to park my car somewhere . Not at all.
Oh you'll find Art, Music, some Theatre, Deck Parks(wtf?), and Fake Suspension Bridges to Nowhere. You'll find all that and more. Check out the 6th Floor museum if you really want to get creepy.

But you won't find any free, safe, well lit parking.

If you're able to overcome those demons and actually get into a party downtown, you'll find the local music is bad. No, really bad. (NOTE: DISCO DIED FOR ME IN 8th GRADE), everything's too expensive and the people are "snooty." (My moms way of saying 'shitty'). So basically you pay extra to be treated like shit in Dallas. Yep, that's pretty much it.

That's why I have some rules to living in BIG D. I plan to share them with you here as often as I can.
I welcome any of your rules to living in our poorly planned, pretentious, poltergeist of a puny city.

RULE 1 :   DON'T GO DOWNTOWN. (No Exceptions)