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Friday, February 21, 2014

Texas Republican Campaign Ads

Forget Ted Nugent, have you seen the Texas GOP campaign ads?
Talk about crass and unfounded, these scoundrels are SHAMELESS in their commercials.
Did they send out a memo and all agree to run the same ad?

Obama sucks and we must fight him...*Pictures of candidate shooting gun*...Obamacare is killing your business...*Pictures of candidate showing a child how to shoot a gun*...Who are you gonna get to fight Obama and the Feds??? ME!... *Pictures of candidates in front of dead animals*... Obama is gonna burn your damn house down...Obama is that intruder in the night... Texas deserves better than America can offer because we create jobs and don't tax business...Texas is good for business...

Yep.
In today's Texas, you'll hear all that feces and more.
Sorry to be the pooper, but if you believe all that, then you're up shits creek with a turd for a paddle.


Please excuse all the defecation references. When I think of Ted Nugent, I can't help it.
It's Deja Poo- The feeling that you've heard all this crap before.

Monday, February 10, 2014

It Just Doesn't Matter



 It just doesn't matter what a Texas Tech "Super Fan" yelled at 19-year-old, Marcus Smart on Saturday during the final minutes of the OSU @ TT basketball game. People from both sides will hear and see what they want to hear and see, and in 48 hours, it'll all be forgotten.

What we saw on Saturday was a scary young black man, LEAP VIOLENTLY at an upstanding older white man, and it scared the hell out of us. 

Hell, I'm surprised someone in the arena didn't shoot Smart dead. On the spot. You know they pack heat in Lubbock.

The Super Fan (Some old fart named Orr) claims to have called Smart, a Big 12 superstar and NBA-bound athlete, a "piece of crap". (Still a racial slur to many young black men). Others have said they heard Orr tell the young athlete to "go back to Africa!"

Whatever it was, Smart didn't like it.


 Later, Smart was handed a 3 game suspension -killing the Cowboys season- and both he and his coach issued a public apology.

Texas Tech's response was non existent, only the Super Fan could save the day by humbling himself and offering to sit out the remaining games that make up the fabulous Texas Tech Basketball season.
He was not punished by the University. His pain was self chosen.

When I think of Lubbock, I think of a quote:


"...white people are afraid of black people. Period. When we fantasize about being mugged or home invaded, what's the image of the perpetrator in our heads? Is it the freckled-face kid from down the street – or is it someone who is, if not black, at least poor?" -Michael Moore

It is frankly amazing that more athletes don’t go after guys like Orr. The fans in Seattle, the ones who cause earthquakes and have become famous as the '12th Man' out there, what they mostly do is yell. Guys like Orr call kids names. Or make obscene gestures at them, the way Jeff Orr did with a Texas A&M player named Bryan Davis a couple of years ago.
  
Smart's apology is one of the most respectful things I've ever seen. You see, African Americans keep their expectations low. That's how they survive, and it's damn sure how they survive in Lubbock.

Also, It's Black History Month and EVERY American should see 12 Years A Slave.

Texas Tech,
I prescribe 200 years of progress and call me in the morning.
Dr. J
 

Friday, October 4, 2013

Say It With Me



Breaking it down for my friends who have temporarily lost their minds this week:

You. Do. Not. Have. The. Votes.

You don't have the votes.

I'll ignore all the misinformation I see and cut to the meat of the thing: You can hate this law all you want, but you do not have the votes to overturn it or alter it. Blame your Founding Fathers for saddling you with this horribly mean form of government where if -- say it with me -- you do not have the votes, you cannot get this thing you so badly want.

We had an election a year ago. The American people gave Republicans the House majority and the Democrats the Senate majority and the White House. They have spoken.

You do not have the votes. Too bad, so sad, you do not have the votes. I'll say it again, because it just doesn't get through the first time:

You Do Not Have The Votes.

The compromise the Republicans keep caterwauling about is on the table. It's the continuing resolution at sequester-level spending. You do have the votes for that. If Boehner brought that up, it would (probably) pass the House, it would definitely pass the Senate, and it would most assuredly be signed by the president.

But this thing you keep asking for, I'm sorry, but ... wait for it ... you do not have the votes.

Anyway, that's all I have to say about that.

Except this: You do not have the votes.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Dinner Is Served -Texass Style

Bottled Water

Fracking Springs
(Now your water catches fire)


Starters

BP Oysters
(Silky and smooth with just a hint of dinosaur algae)


Salads

The CO2 Caesar Salad
(Tossed table-side, by your server, wearing a hazmat suit)


Entree'

  Bob's Splatter Platter
(There's shit in the meat, Bob)


Just Desserts

Western Kolaches
(Exploding with the flavors of various fruits, dipped in a generous serving of ammonium nitrate and served with your very own tank of oxygen)

Boner Petite!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Youth of America

Dear Youth of America,


Instead of attempting to assassinate US Congresswomen in front of grocery stores,



Instead of walking into a crowded movie theater and opening fire on the audience,


Instead of taking your mom's head off with the assault rifle she bought you, then skipping on down to the local elementary school and riddling the bodies of 1st graders with a hail of bullets,


Instead of doing all these dreadful things, you might find a role model...

Who???

Give up?

I've found one for you, he's a 14-year-old Chinese boy... and he's exudes class with a dose of good attitude... and we all know there's something to be said for that...

Guan Tianlang is a 14-year-old from China who will make history as the youngest player ever to qualify for the Masters Golf Tournament.

The eighth grader shot a 1 over 73 on day 1 of the Masters.
On day 2, after a tumultuous round, he was penalized a stroke for an honest error.
When asked if his Masters experience would be disappointing if he missed the cut by the one stroke he replied, "How could I ever be disappointed with this experience."

So to American kids I say, learn from this "class act".

This is how an adult behaves.

Not like some entitled bully with a sour taste in their mouths, but a champion.

A leader...

Not some coward hiding behind his mom's assault rifle, but a hero standing tall, and in the open, on one of the worlds biggest stages, with a set of Taylor Mades...

You American youth need a hobby other than killing innocents...

You might just play some golf instead.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

COLD DEAD HANDS

The NRA is sending gun sales to an all time high.
AR-15's are flying off the shelves everywhere in the US, robocalls to Sandy Hook parents are being sent out, urging them to stand up to gun rights.

That's particularly sickening, isn't it?

Some residents of the Connecticut community devastated by December's school shooting said they're outraged over robocalls they've received from the National Rifle Association only three months after a gunman killed 20 first-graders and six educators at Sandy Hook Elementary School.
Newtown residents said the automated calls from the NRA began last week and urge people to tell their state legislators to oppose gun control proposals. Some also said they received postcards from the NRA supporting gun owners' rights.
"It's ridiculous and insensitive," Newtown resident Dan O'Donnell told Hartford-area NBC affiliate WVIT-TV, one of several media organizations to report about the robocalls. "I can't believe an organization would be so focused on the rights of gun owners with no consideration for the losses this town suffered."
 20 babies cut down with an assault rifle -which no person has a right to own- and torn to shreds.

Bloodthirsty Americans answer the call by rushing out to purchase the murderer's weapon.

The NRA does nothing, except begin to transform itself from a proud American Institution  -the one that your grandpa would be a member of- to a band of bureaucratic, domestic terrorists.

Meanwhile, folks in Texas continue to shoot one another, or themselves DAILY.

It's enough to make one yearn for the good ol' days of layin' around on grandpa's couch and watchin' live episodes of "Hee Haw."

Jim Carrey as Lonesome Earl with his band in "Cold Dead Hand," released Monday via "Funny or Die." (Screenshot from "Funny or Die")
Jim Carrey as Lonesome Earl with his band in “Cold Dead Hand,” released Monday via “Funny or Die.” (Screenshot from “Funny or Die”)

You know those days???
The days of a kinder, gentler, redneck...
The redneck that sang songs and got lost in a hoedown jig of his own creation.
Not the redneck of today. NO SIR!
Whose bloodlust hath grown, and penis has shrunketh.
What used to be smart folks, now have become believers in "Gun Therapy."
They seem to turn to guns as a solution for everything.
Every problem solved with a gun.
From what I can tell from reading the newspaper, it no worky.

I do know we could all use a laugh.
So let's check out this piece from Jim Carey and the good people at Funny Or Die.

Enjoy!










Jim Carey has never been one of my favorites, but he has his moments...

This is such a moment.



Monday, March 18, 2013

CPAC Shuffle


Chris Christie has the highest approval rating of any Republican in today's America.
74%.

Maybe not such a big deal if only the Republican congress didn't show a current rating of, of,
wait for it,
10%.

Many heavy hitters were on the docket for the wingnut opry, but not it's heaviest hitter, Christie was left off this year's list of screwhead all stars.
So why would CPAC leave out the most popular member of their party?
A man who crosses party lines, a man who gives them the BIGGEST chances of winning in the next election...

The answer: Because Republicans don't know what hurts them or helps them.

In fact, they don't seem to know much of anything about anything.
From balancing budgets to identifying with everyday Americans and THEIR real life struggles.
To managing wars, reforming healthcare, civil rights, paying bills, leading by example...
They don't know shit.

And I like it.

I like it because it ensures a progressive future for this country and it's voters.

You remember the voters???
The ones the Republicans are ignoring right now and will continue to ignore until their party get's slurped up like a Big Gulp being slammed by a racist hockey mom.



So here's to you CPAC!
Cheers!
Keep up the message of the miserable racist who's so ignorant, he/she doesn't even know they're racist.

Psssssst- Politics are driven by elections. FYI.